Here it is – fresh from my brain to the bragging page. I thought that I’d give you the whole kit and caboodle instead of just the pithy punch lines, so you can all see that there is actual thought involved. It all sounds soooo good before the week starts. (In case the bolding doesn’t work in the email, I’m also putting the picks up front. You can thus skip all the nonsense that follows, if you like.) Steelers, Giants, Ravens, Falcons Lions, Titans, Colts, Redskins Bengals, Pats, Jets, Niners Seahawks, Bolts, Saints, Bears THU – Browns @ Steelers (-7½) – Somehow Cleveland rallied last week. They did utterly nothing against Cincy the week before (but the Bengals are playing well); Pittsburgh is somewhere in between these extremes. If I had to pick a PIT/KC game I’d go with the Chiefs, though. This is a home game and a big grudge match, but man are the Steelers a mess, and guys are getting hurt. TB isn’t really a cure. Then again, this was before the rookie QB entered the picture. ONE - Panthers @ Giants (+2½) – Speaking of a mess, I’d like a show of hands now, please: which team is showing up to this? Both QBs are rattle-traps. One team has pretty much united against its coach, but is still undisciplined and sloppy. When in doubt, take the points I guess. Ravens @ Chiefs (-3½) – Wait a minute, I get points against a team that couldn’t finish off the Browns? Falcons @ Bucs (+3½) – I’d be tempted here to take the points, but the truth is that Tampa is horrible. Mike Vick isn’t scheduled for another attack of Brookitis until next week (Dallas comes to town). Vikings @ Lions (-2½) – It’s a sign that you’ve played badly when, the week after, you are getting points against Detroit. The Lions have been playing better, and I guess I have to pick them here, but let’s not mistake this for trust or anything. Titans @ Texans (-1½) – Wait a minute, I get points with a team that just rallied to beat the Colts? Colts @ Jags (+1½) – And this is what you get when you can’t beat Tennessee: you get insulted with a shrinky-dink spread against Team Schizo. I don’t think that a 10-2 team working for home field through the playoffs can be faulted for losing to a 60-yard FG at the gun. Eagles @ Redskins (+1½) – I don’t buy Jeff Garcia at all. At least three of those sickly heaves ought to have been picked by the stumble-bum Panthers. Even worse, despite losing McNabb, the Eagles insist on being a pass-first team. Washington can hang with these jokers. Raiders @ Bengals (-10½) – Art Shell woke up long enough to complain that the ever-popular “anonymous source” was actively rooting against the Raiders so he’d get fired. I would think that the play on the field was sufficient. Patriots @ Dolphins (+3½) – Again, we have the home dog in the division; what’s more, a home dog playing well recently and a struggling (albeit superior) visitor. The trick is, the Pats are still doing just enough. They had SIX different rushers against Detroit, and nine Patriots caught a pass. I’m convinced that they could take one of the beer vendors in Gillette Stadium and turn him into a nickel back in three weeks. FOUR - Bills @ Jets (-3½) – Tough to think of the GB win as credible, but they really had a decent shot against the Bears as well. Against the hot-and-cold Bills, I think they can do enough. Packers @ 49ers (-4½) – Here it is, the marquee matchup of 1995. New Orleans is a solid team, it’s not a surprise that they could run over San Fran. The Packers are another story. They kept playing after that awful first half against the Jets, anyway. They’ll have to keep playing again. Seahawks @ Cards (+3½) –Seattle continues to be shoddy on offense. Against a team like the Packers you can live like that. Come to think of it, the Cards are a team a lot like the Packers, aren’t they? Broncos @ Chargers (-7½) – Either Cutler pulls a Romo, quick, or this will be ugly. NITE - Saints @ Cowboys (-6½) – Barber and Jacobs found a lot of room, not only on screens but on quick-hit runs. I’m certain that McAllister and Bush noticed it. MON - Bears @ Rams (+6½) – Horrible line. The Bears, ironically, are not quite what we thought they were. In fact it’s not all that obvious that they’re better than the Cards; but they are mentally much more resilient, and as a result, they’re the ones getting “lucky breaks” which are, in fact, merely the result of a disciplined and determined team playing a sloppy and disinterested team. Half their wins (Jets, Giants, Cards, and both Vikings games) turned on the Bears punishing dumb plays; against an opponent that makes few or none, and which punishes your own dumb plays, it doesn’t work (Patriots, Dolphins). It would be tempting to take St. Louis on those grounds, except that they are one of those sloppy, disinterested teams, and it doesn’t appear that Bulger’s wake-up call has prompted any of his teammates to back him up the way the well-coached bears back up Grossman in spite of it all. So despite Rex Grossman on the road, lay the points.