Blowholes

Bears -- at least we get to play the Vikings twice a year
Browns -- at least we don't live in Detroit
Falcons -- at least we are almost as popular as the Real Housewives
Saints -- at least the government has ensured us that the levees will never breach
DC Rollergirls -- at least our owner has a slightly better approval rating than Congress
Broncos -- at least we can get high after the game
49ers -- at least our coach did not have a cardiac infarction on the sideline last week
Seahawks -- at least there isn't some obscure blogger calling us the Canned Ass Shitty Queefs
Chargers -- at least this game in two years will be San Antonio at Los Angeles
Cardinals -- at least we are going to have the Super Bowl in our home stadium after we blow it all
Packers -- at least we have the cheese for their cheesesteaks*
Colts -- at least we don't live in a city with a sports reputation of going around in circles without going anywhere
Steelers -- at least we don't have to play the Jets again this year

(*that's not cheese)