Denver...  Rule number one...  Pick Peyton to win each week
New Orleans...  Rule number two two word city's usually beat one word city's in week one
Chicago... Rule three buffalo will never win a superbowl as long as the cigarette smoking man is alive
Kansas city...  Rule four Andy Reid wins when he has more than one week to prepare
Minnesota...  Rule five vikings eat birds
New England...  See rule two
Jets...  Rule six even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then 
Philly... Rule seven Jeff is a homer
Pittsburgh...  Rule eight pretty boy college QBs bigger than the game itself suck in the NFL (also known as the tebow rule) 
Cincinnati...  Rule nine  ooh that's a big lock! 
Houston...  Rule ten fuck the redskins until they change their name or ownership 
San Francisco...  See rule two
Tampa Bay... See rule two 
Detroit...  Rule 2 is beat by rule 6 only in week one
Sandy eggo...  Rule two in effect!