The Elis will scalp the Washington Senators (or whatever their name is).

I guess I'll be first with my (not so) awesome picks for the week. I have an odd feeling that Week 4 will have a new leader.  Here goes nothing:

Chicago-no letdown after defeating the illustrated man.
Houston Oilers...I mean the Houston Texans
Indy-No luck for the Titans formerly of Houston
Baltimore Edgar Allen Poes
Detroit because the Jets are truly putrid
Pittsburgh because why not?  And the other Bucs (of Tampa Bay are bad bad bad).  No joke that the Bucs of Pittsburgh might make the World Series before the Bucs of Tampa sniff another Super Bowl.
Miami wins and the Raiders are not allowed to come back to the correct side of the pond.
San Diego Super Chargers defeat the craptastic Los Angeles Jaguars.  LA cringes at getting the crappiness of the Jaguars.  An expansion LA team would have a better record than any of the crap teams that are rumored to move to LA.
The battle of the greatest first half team/crappiest second half team and the crappiest first half team/greatest second half team goes to the Philly Cheesesteaks, or Iggles.  Levis Stadium probably charges $500 for an artisan cheesesteak from Michael Mina.  Save the money for a better QB or a new head coach.
The ATL because they don't have any criminals that I know of.
New Orleans should win, even though this is a road game. 
The Tom Bradys beat the mighty Alex Smiths.

Peace out, fellow braggarts.  Hockey season is coming up soon and maybe we will have a Canadian team win Lord Stanley's Cup, although knowing the weirdness of sports maybe the San Jose Sharks win.  Although if that happens it might by the first sign of the apocalypse.