Ugh. If only the 'boys had beaten the Aints... or if I'd realized that Drew Brees really was going to play, I'd have picked the Aints. So it goes.

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Welcome to Week 5.

Tonight, I am taking the Colts over the Houston Hoyerlers. What could go wrong?

and on Sunday...

the Chefs have problems this season, but they're still pretty good at rushing the passer. Which is a problem for Chicago, since neither Jay Cutler nor his O-line are 100%. Chefs over da Bears.

Cincy currently has a solid D, the best passing attack and the second best rushing attack in the NFL (if you believe DVOA is the way to measure). The Shehawks just admitted that Beast Mode will not be playing this week, and they can't seem to really get going until the second half of games, while the Bungles have been starting fast. On top of that, its tough to motivate when everyone knows you only managed to beat the Motor CIty Kitties by cheating, and every ref is going to think twice before making any controversial call in Seattle's favor, at least this week. Bangles over the Shehawks.

Hotlanta is on fire, and while Cousins is better than popularly expected and the 'skins do have a legit ground game, that should only keep the game vaguely competitive. Mylanta over Wishingwell.

Congratulations Blake Bortles, you almost managed to beat the Colts. So let's see if we can't lower the bar... is Tampa Bay low enough? I think so. Jagulars over Bucs.

Philly is seriously struggling, but Dr. NFL has the medicine they need: a Norleans team which gives up more yards per pass attempt than any other team in the league, never intercepts opposing QBs, and is only 30th at stopping the run. The sad thing is, this may be Chimp Kelly's last chance to get his mess sorted out before the chickens come home to roost. Iggles over Aints.

Cleveland may not be the worst team in the NFL, but its close, and now that the Bears have gone and won a game, it seems likely either the Browns or the 9ers will have the 1st pick in the 2016 draft. Cleveland gets closer this week by losing to a desperate Ravens squad.

Argh. The really tough game of the week. Green Bay's awesome defense gave up a lot of rushing yards to da Bears, and while they haven't since week one, they also haven't faced a team with a serious rushing attack... until now. The Rams roll into town with a tough D and a running game which, if it gets traction, will keep A-Rodge and company off the field. Worse, the Rams tend to play up (and down) to the level of their competition, which means this might be the most exciting game of the week. I won't be at all surprised if St Louis wins again, but I'm picking them to lose to Green Bay. Go St Louis!!

Bills over Tennessee Tuxedos.

Cards over Motor City Kitties. Go Detroit!

'boys get flattened under the steam-rolling Patriots. Go Dallas! (not that you have a chance)

Denver over the Are-We-Moving-To-LA-already Raiduhs.

New York over the 9ers. The Vikings game one loss looks more embarrassing every week.

the Are-We-Moving-To-LA Chargers over the Steelers.

And that's all I wrote.